Lesson 1 - Prayers are Answered

Prayers are answered.  Even though we may not always get what we ask for, we always get what we need.

At the time, I didn’t know it would be the end of my mission.  I wanted nothing more than to continue serving, despite a multitude of health challenges.  What later proved to be Multiple Sclerosis, was a formidable challenge to me as I tried so hard to meet the rigors of the full time missionary schedule.  So many adjustments needed to be made for me, that I finally realized that I was not only holding my companion back, but I was damaging my health, also.

It was after I had a blessing which promised me “the desires of my heart,” that I took courage and thought that the Lord was going to bless and heal me so that I could continue to serve as a full time missionary.  I came to understand later that the true desire of my heart was to do what the Lord wanted me to do – and the Lord wanted me to go home.

I struggled for many months after my release, wondering if my service even counted.  If the Lord didn’t even want me to work for Him, what good could I possibly do for anyone else?  Surely if I couldn’t work for the Lord, I couldn’t work for anyone else.

I wallowed in self pity for a time before an epiphany moment happened one day while reading my patriarchal blessing.  In it, I was reminded that the Lord loved me, that I had a special mission to do.

I had followed the promptings that I had received, went on a mission, and did the very best that I was able to do.  Then, I followed another prompting that had told me to go home.  My prayers were answered – not with the blessing of miraculous healing, but with the assurance that my offering had been accepted by the Lord.

Years later, many of my prayers have been answered in the way I asked for, but even more have been answered in the way that the Lord needed them to be.

One such prayer was when I was in my first pregnancy – expecting twins.  So much excitement and anticipation were on my mind.  Of course, I prayed that I would have a healthy pregnancy and that everything would be well.

But, after a doctor visit and ultrasound, we discovered that I had miscarried.  My husband and I were devastated.

The shock, the grief, the pain – it was almost too much for me to bear.  I prayed for understanding, for guidance, for comfort.  But the heavens were silent.

Months and another miscarriage later, I finally received the comfort that I needed: the burning feeling that all of my losses would be made up, that I was loved, and that there was a purpose for the lives of my children, and for mine.

Despite all of the pain, I still know that God does answer prayers.  I may not always ask the right questions, but Heavenly Father has always given me the right answers.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

We are limited in sight by the veil, and our own mortal comprehension.  There is much that we have yet to learn here. 

In the past few years, my own understanding has increased through many choice experiences, and through much trial and tribulation.  With each test, I realize further how much I truly don’t know. 

These were two lessons in what would be a long line of them to illustrate my willingness to trust in God, even though the ultimate result wasn't what I was expecting or hoping for.  I learned that no experience is wasted, and it teaches us things about ourselves and can even help others on their own paths.

It was a demonstration to me that I had the faith to follow wherever God would lead, even if it wasn't the destination I envisioned – it was always the best place for me to be.

It’s amazing how when the Lord lets us in on His plan for our life, it is always better than what we come up with on our own.

Although we don’t always understand what the plan will eventually turn out to be, it can be a great blessing to ourselves, and others when we follow what the Lord would have us do.

Waiting on the Lord’s timing is perhaps the most challenging thing that we can experience.  God sees the end from the beginning, a perspective that we do not have.  He knows how things will play out in the end, and His timing is perfect.  It takes in immense amount of faith to say, “Thy will be done.”

Several years ago, I lived on my own, in a small apartment with a roommate that became my best friend.  I was watching conference in April 2005, when the Preach my Gospel manual was introduced to the church. At that time, I felt a strong impression that I needed to go on a mission – a thing I had previously asked about, but received a “no”.  I was puzzled, and nervous, but I determined to do what I had just been prompted.  I prayed to know what I needed to do. 

I met with my Bishop shortly thereafter, and got a packet with the list of things that I needed to do in order to submit my mission papers.  There were a lot of things that I needed to take care of, and each step seemed to take forever! 

I had several health challenges that I was concerned would disqualify me from full-time missionary service, but I pressed ahead, eventually securing a release from my doctor.  I also had bills to pay off, and a car to sell.  Both seemed insurmountable, but I experienced miracles as I sought to keep up my end of the bargain, and prepare for missionary service. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I felt ready.  The timing was still not quite right, though, I soon learned.  My best friend and roommate had been prompted to serve a mission as well, and needed some time to get her preparations underway.  I felt deeply prompted to wait until she was ready.  It was a few months later, in early August of 2006, when we finally turned in our papers.

Our calls were received a week apart, mine first, to the Canada, Calgary mission, and hers to the Florida, Tallahassee mission.  The date for her to enter the MTC was three weeks before mine, putting my report date on November 1, 2006. 

I learned, especially after my untimely return, that the timing for my service was, indeed, inspired and perfect.  The people that I was able to meet on my mission proved to me that it was the proper season for me to be there.  Also, it was a good thing for me to be able to encourage my best friend while she served her mission.  There were opportunities for me to serve her as well, through letters and care packages. 

The Lord’s timing is always perfect, even though we do not always see why at the time.

We often see life as it were from the back side of a tapestry.  We do not see how the beautiful threads are intricately placed, nor do we know what the final design will be.  We only see the knotted ends of thread and the criss cross of the stitches.  Surely what we see cannot be a beautiful and finished cloth, worthy of hanging.  But it is.  God sees all with His perfect, eternal vision.  He knows where to place the threads, which colors to place next to each other, and where to knot the end.

When our eyes are truly opened, we will see it, too.

I have had the blessing of seeing things differently.  The scriptures tell us to have an eye single to the glory of God.  This means that we must trust, first.  We need to give up our way of seeing and thinking, to someone who knows and sees more than we do.